Chase Hatchery Group

As a 23-year-old woman fascinated by human behavior (and, let’s be honest, sometimes just bored and curious), I decided to conduct a little experiment. I’d always heard complaints from my male friends about how tough online dating was for them—how they barely got matches, how conversations were dry, and how they felt invisible unless they had six-pack abs or a flashy lifestyle.

As a woman, my experience had been completely different. My matches came easily, my inbox was always full, and even though not all interactions were great, I never had to wonder whether anyone would swipe right on me.

So, I wanted to see what it was like on the other side. What if I were a man on here? Not just out of curiosity, but to truly understand the experience. I set up a profile as a man—choosing a normal, non-flashy photo and writing a simple, honest bio. No tricks. Just observation.

What I discovered? It changed my perspective on online dating forever.

1. A Desert of Matches—And A Shocking Realization

As a woman, I’d been used to getting matches regularly. Even if I didn’t message first, there was always some interest. But as a man? Silence.

I swiped. And swiped. And swiped some more. Nothing.

Days went by, and I had barely any matches. I found myself overanalyzing: Was my profile picture bad? Was my bio boring? Was I not swiping enough?

Then it hit me—this wasn’t an issue with my profile. This was normal for men.

While women often experience an overwhelming flood of attention, men are left swiping endlessly, hoping for even the smallest sign of interest. What started as a casual experiment quickly felt... disheartening.

2. The Few Matches I Got Were… Different

After relentless swiping, I finally got a match. Relief. Excitement. Curiosity.

Except, within minutes, the conversation took an unexpected turn.

She asked for money.

At first, it was subtle—a mention of a tough financial situation, a hint at wanting a “gift” to see if I was serious. But as the conversation continued, her intentions became clear: she wasn’t interested in me—only in what I could provide.

And this wasn’t a one-time thing. Out of the few matches I got, multiple conversations had the same undertone: transactional. It wasn’t about getting to know me. It was about what I could offer.

It made me realize just how different my experience had been as a woman. As a woman, I was used to men putting in effort—trying to impress, initiate, or pursue. Here? The roles were reversed, and it was eye-opening.

3. The Double Standards Were Blatant

Before this experiment, I had my fair share of frustrations with online dating. I’d dealt with men who sent shallow messages, who expected too much too soon, or who seemed uninterested in real conversation.

But as a “man,” I encountered a whole new set of issues:

Dismissiveness & Rudeness: I received responses that were cold, short, or even mean. One match replied, “Ugh, you’re boring,” after just three messages.

No Effort: Conversations felt one-sided. Unless I said something incredibly witty or intriguing, I got nothing in return.

A Transactional Mindset: Some interactions weren’t about connection at all—they were about whether I could offer financial security, attention, or status.

This was a harsh realization: the same complaints women have about online dating? Many men experience them too—just in a different way.